DEAR DEIDRE: MY rounded stomach and enlarged breasts make me feel hornier than ever and whenever I’m pregnant, I can’t get enough of my boyfriend.
We’ve had three children in quick succession and I’m itching to get pregnant again but he is doing his best to avoid me in the bedroom.
At first he loved the fact I was insatiable. We went from having sex around twice a month to at least twice a day once those pregnancy hormones kicked in.
I’d never experienced anything like it and really enjoyed feeling so incredible. When I’m pregnant, all he needs to do is look at me and I’ll be tearing off his clothes.
Whenever I’m expecting, I make sure we have sex before we get out of bed in the morning – even a quickie will tide me over.
He used to say that my high sex drive makes him feel so good, invincible even.
He lapped up my higher libido when I was pregnant with our first, the second time he was happy enough to go along with my requests, but by my third pregnancy I could see he was flagging.
Whenever I hint that I like to start having ‘baby sex’ again, he looks horrified.
Every time I try to make a move on him, he either has a bad back, feels knackered, or he hops out of bed making up excuses that he can hear one of the children.
I’d love to have at least one more baby – to have those curves and sensitive nipples for a last time – but I’m getting the distinct impression he is avoiding it.
Last night I started stroking his back and he snapped at me saying my pregnant fetish was off putting.
After snarling that I needed to give it a rest he stropped off to the spare room.
I feel so rejected. Have I got a fetish? I never thought of it like that.
DEIDRE SAYS: It isn’t uncommon for women to have an increase in sexual desire when they are pregnant.
As you rightly say, it’s the increased levels of oestrogen and progesterone that are responsible for intensifying your sexual desire.
Pregnancy also brings an increase in blood flow, in particular to the pelvic area, which can accentuate arousal.
Add to that the physical changes that come with pregnancy, like engorged breasts and many women feel like they have a one track mind – full of sexual desires only.
Your boyfriend is avoiding intimacy with you and you don’t understand why. So it’s definitely time to talk to him about how he’s feeling.
He may be worried about having a fourth child from an energy level or financial perspective.
You have three young children already and it’s very common for couples to feel distanced from each other as they prioritise their children’s needs.
So make sure you are making quality time for each other – time to properly talk and find out what is going on in each other’s lives.
Fetishes might sound like an extreme label, but many people have them and a pregnancy fetish is common.
All it means is that you really enjoy sex while pregnant which is nothing to be ashamed of.
My support pack Kinks And Fetishes explains more.
Dear Deidre’s Pregnancy Problems
Deidre’s mailbag is bursting with pregnancy predicaments.
One woman is expecting a baby with her ex while still sleeping with her husband.
Another man got his girlfriend pregnant after a threesome and now wonders if the baby is even his.
And one reader fears she’s just a rebound after falling pregnant by a new boyfriend who still has feelings for the mother of his other child.
PREGNANCY AND DESIRE: A CLOSER LOOK
A pregnancy fetish — also known as maiesiophilia — involves sexual attraction to someone who is pregnant, or to the idea of pregnancy itself. Like many kinks, it varies widely from person to person.
For some, the appeal is physical: the shape of the body, fuller breasts, or the natural glow associated with pregnancy. For others, it’s more psychological — linked to ideas of fertility, vulnerability, or dominance and possession.
In heterosexual dynamics, it can be about impregnation — the act of “breeding” someone — which ties into power and fantasy. In other cases, the pregnancy itself is not the goal, but a symbol: of transformation, femininity, or taboo.
Pregnancy content is increasingly visible on adult platforms, and some performers cater specifically to this fetish — posting photos or videos while visibly pregnant, or roleplaying pregnancy scenarios using prosthetics.
Like many fetishes, it becomes problematic only when it crosses the line into non-consensual behaviour.
Fetishising a stranger’s pregnancy without consent — especially in public — can feel invasive or objectifying. It’s essential to approach these desires with empathy, boundaries and open communication.
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Sally Land is the Dear Deidre Agony Aunt. She achieved a distinction in the Certificate in Humanistic Integrative Counselling, has specialised in relationships and parenting. She has over 20 years of writing and editing women’s issues and general features.
Passionate about helping people find a way through their challenges, Sally is also a trustee for the charity Family Lives. Her team helps up to 90 people every week.
Sally took over as The Sun’s Agony Aunt when Deidre Sanders retired from the The Dear Deidre column four years ago.
The Dear Deidre Team Of Therapists Also Includes:
Kate Taylor: a sex and dating writer who is also training to be a counsellor. Kate is an advisor for dating website OurTime and is the author of five self-help books.
Jane Allton: a stalwart of the Dear Deidre for over 20 years. Jane is a trained therapist, who specialises in family issues. She has completed the Basic Counselling Skills Level 1, 2, and 3. She also achieved the Counselling and Psychotherapy (CPCAB) Level 2 Certificate in Counselling Studies.
Catherine Thomas: with over two decades worth of experience Catherine has also trained as a therapist, with the same credentials as Jane. She specialises in consumer and relationship issues.
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