A week is a long time in politics but, for Nicola Sturgeon, the two years since she quit as First Minister must seem like an eternity.
It goes without saying that, by the time she quit as the Scottish Government’s longest serving leader, Ms Sturgeon was already past the peak of her popularity.
Nicola Sturgeon announced her plans to stand down as an MSP on Wednesday[/caption]
The girl who used to have it all – Nicola Sturgeon’s fortunes have dramatically changed[/caption]
The magic and pixie dust have evaporated, writes Andrew Nicoll[/caption]
But the change in her fortunes since then has been beyond dramatic.
The tailored suits, the kitten heels, the Vogue fashion shoots, the adoring, cheering crowds – all the magic and pixie dust have evaporated.
Now the former darling of the SNP can be seen in shabby sweat shirts and ill-fitting jeans as she confronts placard-waving feminist protestors.
She is the girl who used to have it all – the Meghan Markle of Scottish politics.
The only people still in love with Ms Sturgeon are trans-rights activists.
It was only four months ago that Ms Sturgeon put her name down to be an SNP candidate at the next Holyrood elections.
Now she has decided to quit politics for good but, she insisted yesterday, her police arrest, the possibility of prosecution over SNP fraud allegations, the collapse of her marriage and her husband’s looming court case – well, none of that has anything to do with her decision.
No, even without those things, she would still be going.
Of course, she wants to pursue exciting new adventures like this month’s headline appearance at the Glasgow Comedy Festival.
There’s really nothing funnier than a former politician, after all.
And, later this year, Ms Sturgeon can look forward to the publication of her £300,000 memoirs.
According to publishers Pan McMillan, the book is still officially untitled but it probably won’t be called “Alex Salmond: My part in his downfall”.
It will be out in time for Christmas and it will make the ideal gift for mothers-in-law, your local traffic warden or anybody else you don’t like that much.
In it, Ms Sturgeon promises to “detail her interactions with a range of notable figures, giving her unique in-the-room perspective on the most eventful and tumultuous era in modern Scottish and British politics”.
That’s an astonishing achievement considering her prolonged memory lapse when she was called as a witness at the Holyrood inquiry into the Scottish Government’s botched investigation into claims against Alex Salmond.
During her day of evidence, when she was asked to explain why the Scottish Government blew half a million quid on a probe the courts dismissed as an “unlawful”, “unfair” and “tainted”, there were 20 separate occasions when Ms Sturgeon replied to questions from MSPs by claiming “I cannot recall”. There were another 11 when she didn’t “remember”
Even the dramatic meeting at her home when she was told of the accusations against her former mentor slipped her mind.
“My recollection is still not as vivid as I would like it to be,” she told MSP colleagues.
If somebody sets off a hand grenade like that in your living room and the memory is less than vivid, you’ve got no chance of recording a hilarious anecdote about Boris Johnson or a really interesting conversation with John Swinney.
This book will be like reading the memoirs of a goldfish.
Maybe Ms Sturgeon hopes it will be her chance to record her own version of her accomplishments – which, in her mind at least, are not small.
The problem is, she has already passed judgement on herself.
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Setting out her mission as First Minister in 2015, Ms Sturgeon said: “Let me be clear – I want to be judged on this. If you are not, as First Minister, prepared to put your neck on the line on the education of our young people then what are you prepared to do. It really matters.”
Put the numbers through any mincer you like, and nobody could pretend that Scottish education under Ms Sturgeon’s SNP is a success story.
The educational gap between rich and poor has widened, our universities are teetering on the brink of bankruptcy and Scotland is crashing down the international league tables like a grand piano coming off a block of flats.
Ms Sturgeon can’t, on the one hand, boast that she is Scotland’s longest serving First Minister and also claim that this disastrous record has nothing to do with her.
As Minister for the Referendum ahead of 2014, Nicola Sturgeon failed to deliver independence.
She failed to fill in the obvious blanks in the SNP’s independence offer – like what currency Scotland would use.
And she included the fatal “once in a generation” promise that torpedoed Nats membership hopes of IndyRef2.
As First Minister, she presided over the deaths of thousands of elderly people, crammed into care homes alongside discharged hospital patients who were known to be infected, all while the Scottish Government fretted about restarting work on independence.
How Nicola Sturgeon could make MILLIONS after politics
NICOLA Sturgeon could be set to rake in millions after stepping down as an MSP, an expert has claimed.
The former First Minister already has a several different revenue streams in place for her life post-politics and has allegedly made more than £640,00 since leaving Scotland’s top job.
And once the dust settles on her time in Holyrood, popular culture expert Nick Ede reckons the ex-FM has the “power to make millions”.
He told the Scottish Sun: “Nicola will be able to make far more than she did when she was a politician – she’s got the power to make millions with lucrative deals.
“Whatever she decides, she can make millions and profit from her past and also use it to steer a more positive narrative about herself.”
The UK Covid enquiry revealed she ran countless unminuted meetings and deleted Government WhatsApp messages on “an industrial scale”.
Ms Sturgeon had already promised to publish her WhatsApps in full but that probably wasn’t vivid in her memory.
It’s an old chestnut, but it’s still true – all political careers end in failure. Ms Sturgeon can comfort herself with a giant pay-off and a pension beyond the wildest dreams of most.
But her marriage is over and a career in stand-up beckons when she was once rumoured to be in line for a job with the United Nations.
There’s more to life than politics. There’s more to life than any job.
But, for Nicola Sturgeon, the personal cost of this ending might be more than most could bear.
