DEAR DEIDRE: MY son was so excited to start university in September.
Now he has been sent home because another student accused him of sexual misconduct.
The police aren’t involved – the university is conducting its own investigation.
While it’s happening, my son isn’t allowed to visit the campus and he has to do his learning online.
He’s only 18 and he is terrified.
Everyone in his dorm went to a party just before Christmas.
He met a girl there. She was very drunk and all of her friends had left.
My son was concerned for her safety so he offered to walk her home.
They got to her room and she passed out on the bed.
He stayed overnight because he was worried she would choke on vomit in her sleep.
In the morning, they were intimate.
My son says it was consensual but she’s saying he took advantage of her while she was still drunk.
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I believe my son is innocent, but I feel powerless to help him.
He is becoming withdrawn and I’m scared he is sinking into depression.
DEIDRE SAYS: Universities have the power to conduct investigations into alleged crimes, including sexual misconduct.
While these aren’t criminal inquiries, their findings can be passed on to the police.
I understand why you’re worried but this is a time for action, not panic.
Firstly, ensure your son contacts his GP about his mental health. It might help for him to get counselling or medication to ward off the risk of depression.
Then ask his university for an update on the investigation. They have to be transparent, so ensure you find out who is conducting it and how long it will take.
Tell your son to keep any evidence of that night. He should not contact the girl or use social media to talk about the incident. And look into getting legal advice.
Contact the False Allegations Support Organisation (false-allegations.org.uk, 03335 779 377) for free, confidential advice.
FASO helps people who have been accused of criminal behaviour, plus their families and friends.
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