EVERY time Valerie Nettles opens her email account she takes a deep breath.
The 72-year-old prays it will be the day someone will get in touch to tell her what happened to her son Damien.
Valerie Nettles is pleading with Sun readers to help her find her missing son[/caption]
Almost three decades since his disappearance, the simple fact is that Valerie worries she might not be around long enough to discover the truth.
“I am 72 and I am terrified I will die,” she admits.
“The years I have left in this world are much less than those I have lived.
“I can’t die without knowing where my Damien is.”
It has been 29 years since the 16-year-old vanished from Cowes on the Isle of Wight in November 1996.
His disappearance is considered one of Britain’s most unusual cases and has become the subject of dozens of documentaries and books.
On November 2 that year, Damien had just got home from visiting his girlfriend for a week on the mainland and was due to start school on Monday.
That Saturday he and his mum had shopped for new school trousers and Damien had used a voucher he got for doing well in his GCSEs to buy a book.
He talked about catching up on his homework the next day and visiting an ex-girlfriend that he had remained good friends with.
“He asked if he could stay out later than his 10.30pm curfew to see some of his mates,” Valerie says.
“I agreed but made him promise to be back before midnight.
“To this day I am haunted by that. If I had enforced his curfew that night, I am convinced he would not have ‘disappeared.’
“I live with that every day.”
Damien, who had been planning to study marine biology at university, went out with his friend Christopher and a few female friends before deciding to leave a party early.
The group bought some ciders and made their way back to West Cowes before Damien and Christopher began walking home, going their separate ways once they reached Northwood Park.
But according to CCTV and eye witness accounts, Damien turned around and went back into town to the Fountain Hotel Pub to ask if his sister Sarah Nettles had come by.
She had mentioned she may visit from university, but Damien had left for the evening before he knew whether she was coming.
He then went to Yorkies fish and chip shop and was spotted on CCTV chatting to staff at 11.40pm.
Damien was next seen at a bus stop, sharing his chips with people who were waiting for the bus.
The mum says Damien was a responsible teen[/caption]
Valerie fears she will die before she gets answers[/caption]
When he got onto the bus the driver reported he seemed a little drunk and asked to go to Cowes.
“The driver told Damien he was already in Cowes and so he got off,” explains Valerie.
“He then wandered up the street and that is the last anyone ever saw him.
“He was last captured on street CCTV at 12.02. It’s reported a local driver saw him when he stopped by his car and then there’s nothing after that.”
Retired admin assistant Valerie now lives in Dallas, Texas, with her husband Ed, 74, a retired managing director.
They are parents to four children – Sarah, 45, Damien who would be 44, James, 41, and Melissa, 39 – and are proud grandparents to six grandchildren aged between 11 and 18 years old.
When Damien’s sister told her mum her brother’s bed had not been slept in, Valerie assumed he’d stayed at mate’s house and, as always, would ring her the next morning.
“He always rang either late at night or first thing in the morning,” she says.
“He knew I’d worry. He was that kind of lad.”
When Valerie heard nothing from Damien that morning she admits she was gripped by a “gut-wrenching fear”.
The only hope now is that someone will come forward willing to speak
Valerie Nettles
“I reported him missing to the police on Sunday afternoon,” she says.
“I’d done a ring around of friends, we called Christopher, we drove around town and local areas looking. We did our best to find him.
“But to me they didn’t seem interested and just assumed that he’d run away.
“They told me ‘He will be back by teatime’. I tried calling a few more times but received a similar response.
“Even in 1996 I knew the first 48 hours of a person being missing were critical. Instead, they made assumptions, and they were wrong.”
It was not until two weeks later that detectives finally arrived at Valerie’s home.
Officers informed the family there had been a report of shouting on the seafront at around 1am, but Valerie claims that nothing had been followed up.
When Valerie asked to see CCTV footage, they discovered Hampshire Police had been tracking the wrong individual.
“He had been wearing completely different clothes,” says Valerie.
“Officers also mistakenly thought that he was 19 when he was just 16.
“At the time they continued to assume he had gone off on his own, but the last ferry had left at around 11.
“There was a possible sighting along one road, not too far from our house.
“At the time, officers dismissed the tip because it came from a boy who was unreliable and was ‘known to police’.”
Damien Nettles’ disappearance
DAMIEN Nettles vanished on November 2, 1996 while out with his friends.
- The 16-year-old lad goes to a belated Halloween party in East Cowes with friends on November 2, 1996.
- They leave the gathering early, buy some cider, and head back to West Cowes.
- Damien parts ways with his friend Christopher at around 10.30pm when his mate decides to go home.
- The teen wanders the high street asking people if they have seen his sister Sarah.
- CCTV footage from a local fish shop captures Damien there talking to people at around 11.40pm.
- He walks to a bus stop, then makes his way back past the fish shop.
- The last sighting on cameras showed Damien eating his chips outside at 12.02am.
- His family reported him missing in the afternoon of November 3.
- Police search a nearby street 14 months later and find no evidence Damien was there.
- In 2002 people came forward after a local drug dealer died, and claimed he had been involved in Damien’s disappearance.
- A new review was made after a complaint to Police Standards in 2005 and it was ruled Damien had likely been murdered – although his case is still listed as a Missing Person.
- In 2007 Valerie Nettles hired private investigator Ivor Edwards.
- Hampshire Police made eight arrests in 2011 for conspiracy to murder but all suspects were released without charge.
- A £20,000 reward was issued by the force in 2012 and remained in place for a year.
- Valerie filed another complaint to Police Standards (PSD) in November 2016.
- As of April 2024, there are no new leads in Damien’s case.
But 14 months later, the force realised they had made a mistake.
The time on the chip shop CCTV had not been set back for daylight saving, which meant the sighting which was possibly Damien near the family home was at the correct time.
Cops went to search the area.
“They decided to send officers down our road and bring in sniffer dogs to look in people’s gardens and sheds,” Valerie explains.
“I don’t know what they expected to find after 14 months but they might have found answers had they listened when I called on the day he went missing.”
Hampshire Police then lost the last known footage of Damien walking along the high street.
There were two reviews done into the handling of the case in 2007 and 2016, and on several items, it was found they were “lax”, says Val.
Last year Supt Karen McManus from Hampshire & Isle of Wight Constabulary confirmed a complaint was received in 2016 from the Nettles family, two elements of which were upheld following an investigation.
“A detailed apology was subsequently provided to Damien’s family,” she said at the time.
“It is important to stress that this is still an open case.”
Valerie also explains there were “shenanigans” occurring in the local police force at the time her son disappeared, which she feels distracted officials.
She claims: “In 1996 the female officer on his case suddenly stepped away from the investigation.
“It was reported by news outlets a few months later that she had been sexually harassed in the station by fellow officers.
“While we were sitting waiting at home, waiting and waiting for him to come down the driveway, get off the bus, make a phone call – and that’s what they were doing.”
Over the years people came forward alleging Damien was beaten up and thrown in the sea.
He was a typical teen, but he was responsible. Linking him to hard drugs just seems crazy to me
Valerie Nettles
“There were rumours Nicky McNamara, a local drug dealer with a history of violent crimes, was behind Damien’s alleged murder and was seen acting oddly the day after our son disappeared,” Valerie says.
“Those rumours began after McNamara died of a heroin overdose in 2002. It was reported someone had seen a local dealer with a youth up against a wall, beating him up.”
Others have speculated Damien died due to links to drug gangs on the island, but Valerie is adamant there were no signs her son was a user of hard drugs.
Valerie is the first to admit her son had smoked the occasional joint and liked a beer or a cider.
“We had spoken to him about it,” she says.
“But he never missed his curfew, and he was looking forward to starting school the following week.
“He was a typical teen, but he was responsible. Linking him to hard drugs just seems crazy to me.”
The mum says she is now facing a “wall of silence” from cops.
“Police want nothing to do with you unless they find bones and DNA, there’s no support there, you’re talking to a brick wall,” she claims.
“I’m not the only one facing this wall of silence. It is like we do not exist.
“I know thousands of families all over the world who had a child disappear and police didn’t properly follow up leads.
“The only hope now is that someone will come forward willing to speak to the police or email.
“The Isle of Wight is a ‘very close-knit community’ and this I know has halted information coming to light.
“There are some families who are closely intertwined. I think no one wants to come forward with information which could implicate a family member.”
In July 2016, the BBC aired a documentary about Damien’s disappearance and spent time on the Isle of Wight investigating leads.
Damien was a well-behaved, hardworking student, his mum said[/caption]
Damien had been planning on studying marine biology[/caption]
“The producers used a specially trained cadaver dog and searched in a location on the Isle following rumours Damien’s body may have been dumped there,” says Valerie.
“The dogs alerted on potential cadaver points meaning a body or human blood or remains may be buried there.
“However, you cannot dig below a certain level as that specific copse area has a protected order over it.
“There is of course a chance Damien wandered down the water’s edge, and drunk fell in, hit his head and died.
“We spoke to the then Harbour Master and he explained he felt the body would have washed up on the beach there due to tide times that weekend.”
Valerie feels her son’s disappearance has been written off as a runaway or accidental death.
“He is not a cold case to us,” she says.
“Damien is in our thoughts, in our hearts. We are still hoping one day we will get some answers that give us a resolution.
“I don’t care if I don’t get all the answers. I just want him home and back in whatever way that might be.”
Since relocating to America after Damien’s younger brother was bullied, Nicola has poured her efforts into helping with missing person charities.
In 2023, the Nettles family offered support to the family of Nicola Bulley, who vanished in Lancashire In January 2023, and was later tragically found dead.
While Valerie feels she was failed by police, she says she will never give up the search for her beloved boy.
At my age I fear I will die not knowing, surely people aren’t that cruel?
Valerie Nettles
“No mum or dad wants to be a member of this club. We are members of the lost and unknown,” she says.
Damien is yet to be declared officially dead and the investigation is a cold case.
Valerie is now considering starting the process to declare him dead and that will trigger a coroner’s inquest.
She explains: “I have not wanted to do this until now.
“I have held out hope. This would be a last ditch move to see all the evidence reviewed by an independent expert.
“At 72, I am worried I’ll die and never know what became of my boy.”
Valerie is pleading with those who may have information to come forward before it’s too late.
“No one disappears on the Isle of Wight without a trace,” she says.
“Someone knows and that someone I am begging to find the bravery, the humanity, and the kindness to end my suffering.
“They can contact me, the police or The Sun who have always helped and supported us.
“Please just do the right thing.”
Valerie is praying people will read this story, hear her plea and do the right thing so that next time she opens her email, she might find answers.
The mum adds: “You’re not grassing someone up, you’re tipping me off anonymously and ending an ageing mother’s pain.
“At my age I fear I will die not knowing, surely people aren’t that cruel?”
You can find out more about Damien’s disappearance on Missing People. To visit Valerie’s website and get in touch with her, click here.
Valerie says it is cruel for those who know what happened to keep the truth from her[/caption]
