CHLOE Ferry has opened up about her plunging self esteem and revealed she has been in therapy after hitting rock bottom over her surgery regrets.
The reality star felt suicidal in her darkest hours – but is now working on rebuilding her life.
Chloe Ferry has confessed she felt so low she ‘didn’t want to be here’[/caption]
Chloe has had over £50k of work done over the years[/caption]
She showed the results of a botched eye fox surgery[/caption]
It comes as the Geordie Shore star recently checked herself into hospital and teased the start of a “new chapter”.
Speaking on Paul C Brunson‘s We Need to Talk podcast, the emotional Geordie Shore star admitted she felt so low she “didn’t want to be here”.
She told the Celebs Go Dating star: “I’ve been seeing a therapist.
“I always doubt myself and look in the mirror and say I don’t look nice today. I’m very mean to myself and I need to give myself a break.”
Chloe continued: “I felt like I was going through depression.
“The main thing is I want to love myself again. I’ve been rock bottom where I’ve felt I didn’t want to be here, that’s how bottom I was.
“I get scared of going back to that mindset … it was dark. I can’t go back to feeling like that.”
Chloe admitted she regrets the cosmetic surgery she’s had over the years, saying she wishes she’d never touched her body in the first place.
She said: “Listen, I hold my hands up – I made a mistake. I got surgery because I was insecure and felt ugly. If I could turn back time, I wouldn’t have done it.”
She said she became trapped in a vicious cycle, constantly trying to achieve “perfection” – but now realises it was all for nothing.
The star said: “Surgery is a dark hole. You always want more – but what is perfection? It doesn’t exist. I was trying so hard to make people like me and stop the nasty comments, but I lost myself along the way.
“I’ve wasted my 20s chasing some girl I wasn’t born to be.”
Now, as she approaches 30, she’s determined to embrace the real her.
She continued: “I don’t want to be known for having a big arse.
“I want to go back to being the funny Chloe who doesn’t worry about what she looks like. That’s where my happiness is.”
Chloe previously shared how she had spent over £50,000 on cosmetic procedures.
Over the years, Chloe has gone under the knife several times, with some of the operations being for two nose jobs, liposuction and breast augmentation.
It comes after The Sun revealed Chloe is “correcting” her botched surgeries.
Chloe has already had her bum reduced and says she’s considering reversing more of her cosmetic work.
She revealed she’s thinking about getting more procedures reversed and has even considered following in Love Island star Molly-Mae Hague’s footsteps – after the star dissolved her fillers.
She said: “Who knows, I might be like Molly-Mae one day!” “I want to go, hopefully, fully back to natural.
“I might keep a little bit of lip filler – Christ, I won’t go all the way – but when I’ve healed from my bum surgery, I might go for the next step. So maybe my breasts
“I’m not saying I’m unhappy with them, but if I’m on this journey now, why not go the whole monty?”
As part of her transformation, Chloe says she’s making a conscious effort to stop editing her social media snaps and show off the real her.
She revealed: “I’m going to try. I’m not saying never because I’m still insecure and finding myself, but I’m trying not to edit my body at all.
“It’s baby steps – walk before you can run.”
She also revealed she’s on a mission to change her career – and doesn’t want to be known as the wild party girl from Geordie Shore anymore.
The star continued: “I don’t just want to be known as ‘Chloe Ferry drunk on TV’ or ‘kick-off Chloe’ because that’s not me.
“These next two years, I want to expand and just live my life – not in someone else’s body.
“It’s scary because I’m stepping into this new womanly era, but I’m ready. I want to be my true, authentic self – and I’m here for it.”
If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this article, please call the Samaritans for free on 116123.
Chloe opened up about her cosmetic surgery regrets[/caption]
