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AFTER being released from his club ten years ago, former footballer Clarke Carlisle lost a £100,000-a-year TV job and blew much of his life savings in one trip to a casino.

The same night as that loss, the ex-Premier League star, who was battling depression, went missing before jumping in front of a truck in an attempt to end his life.

Richard Walker

Ex-Premier League star Clarke Carlisle and wife Carrie[/caption]

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Clarke went missing in 2015 before jumping in front of a truck in an attempt to end his life[/caption]

PA:Empics Sport

Clarke in action for football club Burnley[/caption]

But today, the 45-year-old speaks of the joy of being alive — and explains that instead of turning to gambling in his dark days, he now seeks solace . . . by hiding behind the fridge.

Clarke and his wife Carrie work to help others facing suicidal thoughts, holding online talks and courses for people dealing with mental health issues.

The defender, whose clubs included Blackpool, Burnley and QPR, said: “I have been to the edge of existence.

“Now I can proudly say I’ve not had an episode of depression for years. I’ve not needed meds for three years. I am the most well I’ve ever been.”

Carrie added of one of his new coping mechanisms: “He literally goes and hides behind the fridge. He goes there and takes a little moment.

“I won’t even know he’s there, and I’ll open the fridge and the fridge light will go on and I’ll see the ears from his Batman onesie.”

Clarke, who has two children with Carrie and three from previous relationships, added: “I know when I start coming down and I need to withdraw. I would stand in the dark, on my own and in my own thoughts.

“So I would stand there when I needed to with-draw. The key part of it, it is also where the radiator is. When I do experience depression, I physically get cold. It’s about finding the way for you to deal with things.”

Clarke, who was chairman of the Professional Footballers’ Association and has also appeared as a contestant on TV game show Countdown, said: “I was a perfectionist as a footballer, critical of things that I would do.

“I was in an environment where it is about wins and losses. I tried to replicate that in normal life and in my relationships. My self-worth was governed by results and performances on this pitch.

“So if we won, I felt great. I was a good human and then that would give me positivity going into all my wider interactions, because in my head, that makes me a good dad, a good husband, a good son.

“If we lost, that meant I was a terrible human because other people were sad and I’d let them down, which made me a bad dad, a bad husband, a bad brother.

“Now I prioritise the things that matter. I meditate a lot, I pray, I prioritise family. I make sure I put the kids to bed at least once a week.

“I make sure that they can come into my bedroom and jump on me in the morning. And Carrie and I make sure we have monthly date nights.”

With the annual mental health awareness Time To Talk Day next Thursday, Clarke said he still finds exercise triggers pressures he felt in his playing days and gets PTSD around the anniversary of his suicide bid.

He is now calling for an independent body to oversee the mental health of all footballers in the UK.

‘Terrible human’

Ex-TV presenter Carrie, a former alcoholic, said starting the process of writing a series of self-help material, such as Shut Up, Alcohol, played a part in helping Clarke get better.

Clarke was released by Burnley in 2012 and in 2014 lost his £100,000-a- year ITV Champions League pundit role before that fateful trip to the casino. He then went missing before throwing himself in front of a lorry on the A64 Leeds to York dual carriageway.

Clarke was airlifted to Leeds General Infirmary. He suffered cuts, bruises, internal bleeding, a broken rib and a shattered left knee.

On Christmas Day 2014, he was admitted as an in-patient to a psychiatric unit in Harrogate and placed on suicide watch.

He remained there until he was discharged in February 2015, when, shortly after, he did an interview with The Sun.

Ten years on, Clarke said: “After that, I knew I was very unwell. In the lead-up to that, I was being very negative, hypercritical, insular.

“I’d never done anything about my depression, and I was clinically depressed.

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Clarke and Carrie getting married in 2016[/caption]

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Clarke revealing superman-style vest in game for QPR in 2002[/caption]

“I didn’t take medication for a myriad of reasons but predominantly because I thought, ‘I’m a man and a Premier League footballer’. I didn’t understand that my thoughts were different or dangerous.

“A lot of it was tied into self-worth. I do have an analytical mind. I was using alcohol so that my brain stopped thinking. I was using gambling so that my brain was thinking about something else.

“I’m really blessed I never got into drugs. If I had I would be dead now.

“Football was pretty much the only thing I thought gave me value. So when I left, I was totally bereft of anything that anyone else valued about me.

“I brought my football home, the perfectionism, the autistic portion, compulsive aspect, the need for everything to happen at this time, at this pace, immediate success or failure. There’s no middle ground.

I knew then he was an amazing, handsome man. And I know that even more to this day

Carrie

“And it’s a dynamic that is ingrained within you, and everything falls into these two categories.

“For the first year of my therapy, I had to discover this middle ground of things just being OK, being good enough.

“Because in football that had never been good enough, because it’s not the best, it’s not perfect. This transferred into relationships. It was so, so destructive. It was dangerous.”

In 2016, Clarke met Carrie, who worked as an ambassador at football anti-racism charity Kick It Out.

She said: “It was a whirlwind romance. We gave each other our business cards and I don’t think we ever thought we’d see each other again.

‘Dead by tomorrow’

“But he emailed and we went for dinner. Within five minutes of sitting down for dinner, he was like, ‘We are gonna get married, have babies’. On the second date he brought his psychiatric papers.

“We moved in together three weeks later. Then we got engaged a few months later. And then nine weeks after, we got married.

“I knew then he was an amazing, handsome man. And I know that even more to this day. I’m obsessed with him.”

The pair worked with each other to support their needs, Carrie with her anxiety and Clarke with his depression.

But in 2017, Clarke went missing again and was eventually found in Liverpool before being taken to a psychiatric facility in Blackburn.

Carrie said: “When Clarke was found, I wanted to bring him home. I was six months pregnant and I was like, ‘Let’s just go back to this place’, because up to 24 hours ago, I didn’t know anything was wrong.

“Luckily, someone took me aside and said, ‘OK, Mrs Carlisle, if you take him home, he’ll be dead by tomorrow’. And that was a slap in the face that I needed.”

Clarke then began counselling. He said: “I started to dig deeper and realised I needed to be well.

Channel 4

Clarke on TV’s Countdown in 2010[/caption]

“I needed to be alive. I wanted to be here.”

Carrie asked him to read through some thoughts she had around her Shut Up, Alcohol method, which she developed in 2006.

Clarke said: “The incredible thing about my awesome wife is that she’s been able to put that into a clear and really quite simple process of self-progression and self-accountability, and it brings the power back when you’re talking about your mental health.

“You’re not waiting on the NHS to come and fix you.

“She asked me to read something she was writing about other issues and it helped me with my attitude to gambling.”

Using her Shut Up method, Carrie has written more than 20 books, as well as devising courses to accompany each one.

The pair offer online talks and courses for issues such as alcohol, gambling and suicidal thoughts.

Carrie said: “Most people don’t want to die.

“They just can’t live like this any more. We aim to guide them on their own journey out of it.

“We both see it as a great opportunity to pay our own lived experiences forward.”

I do miss certain moments of football

Clarke Carlisle

Clarke, who now has a degree in psychology, says he is in the best shape mentally he has been for years. He is “finally able” to enjoy watching football again.

But he said: “I can’t go and do a simple run without thinking, ‘Oh, you’re only cheating yourself. You can go faster than this’, or ‘You should have been in the Olympics next year’.”

“But I do miss certain moments of football — the first day of the season, a magnificent end of the season, a successful season.”

Last week, ex-Premier League referee David Coote said he would be prioritising his mental health after a series of scandals led to him being stripped of his job.

And Clarke now wants an independent advisory board for players and referees to help them deal with mental health.

He said: “It would great to see a new independent body. They need to stop acting in silos, whether it’s the individual organisations — EFL, Premier League, the WSL, the Championship, the PFA, the FA.

“They’re all individual things and giving cursory nods to each other’s activities.

“But there is no continuation of care. We need an external third party, an advisory board.

“But everyone, even if you are not in football, should be aware that there is help out there.

“I have a professional coach. I have the people who I trust. I prioritise the things that make me feel good and keep me well, irrespective of what’s going on.

“I am proof that you find a path. You just need to talk to the right people.”

•  Find out more about Clarke and Carrie’s work at clarkeandcarrie.com.

• Unlock even more award-winning articles as The Sun launches brand new membership programme – Sun Club.

Two brothers and sisters were killed in horror “hit and running” leaving their family relaxed as police officers “answers”. The ...

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LOVE Island star Samira Mighty reveals that being on Love Island made it hard to launch her music career.

The 29-year-old gave us a glimpse into her music journey ahead of her new song’s release Valentine’s Day.

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Samira Mighty reveals that being on Love Island made it hard to launch her music career[/caption]

ITV

Samira appeared on the fourth season of Love Island in 2019[/caption]

The reality star opened up about the challenges of being taken seriously as an artist after rising to fame on the hit ITV2 dating show in 2018.

Samira was coupled up with Frankie Foster on the show before he was dumped and the reality beauty ended up quitting the villa altogether.

Speaking to The Sun, about her transition from reality TV to singing, Samira said: “ I think it’s been hard in the sense of it’s just a different industry and you have to now gain different fans from Love Island that are still there.

“But, you know I want to get different fans that know me just for my music.

“I will never forget the roots I came from, Love Island because the opportunity is insane but you know, it’d be nice for fans to come up and say, I love your new song which actually they do now.

“So that’s, it’s been great it’s been it’s been a good transition, I think.”

After her stint on the show she participated in The X Factor: Celebrity in 2019 as part of the group No Love Lost, alongside fellow Love Island alumni, Eyal Booker, Wes Nelson and Zara Mcdermott.

Mentored by Simon Cowell the group was eventually eliminated in week 3.

Speaking about her time on the show, she said: ” I think X Factor to me was like Love Island. it wasn’t really like a talent show.

“But it was interesting to see the taste of the music industry of what we could get and what we couldn’t.

Speaking on her former band mates, she added: “I speak to Eyal here and there and Wes, he’s so busy he’s doing his music as well.

“So I’d love to get in the studio with Wes actually one time.

“I think that would be a collaboration but you know, it was so long ago, I have to sometimes jog my memory that I did these shows.

After the show Samira continued her journey as a solo artist, releasing her debut EP last year, now she’s dropped her new single Valentines Day.

Samira revealed how she wrote her new track after being ghosted by a fitness influencer, she said: “So last year, around this time, I was dating somebody, if you know me, like that person just was not for me.

“We were dating quite intensely and we had la tiny blip, you know commitment issues, the usual thing of guys.

“Then he said to me, you know what, let’s sort this out “I miss you, let’s go for a walk next week” and from this day, he just disappeared.

“Ghosting is just a crazy thing but it was Valentine’s Day and yeah so I went to the studio and that’s where Valentine’s Day came from.”

Fans can listen to Samira’s new track Valentines Day (I Ain’t Got Time For That) here

Not known, clear with picture desk

Samira revealed how she wrote her new track after being ghosted by a fitness influencer[/caption]

Rex Features

Getty

Samira also participated in reality talent show The X Factor: Celebrity in 2019[/caption]

FORMER Wimbledon champion Simona Halep revealed “the thought of retiring crosses my mind very often” as she seriously considers hanging up her racquet.

Halep, 33, beat Serena Williams to reign supreme on the grass of the All England Club in 2019 – the year after winning her maiden Grand Slam at the French Open.

AP

Wimbledon 2019 champ Simona Halep is preparing to retire from tennis aged 33[/caption]

The ex-world No1 racked up 24 career titles and more than £32million in career prize money.

But her career has spiralled downwards rapidly in recent years due to injuries and a drugs ban.

The Romanian appeared to be handed a lifeline going into the 2025 season with a wildcard into the Australian Open.

But she had to withdraw before the tournament started due to knee and shoulder problems.

And it is the former that is giving her thoughts about packing in her pro tennis career for good.

Halep, now way down at No868 in the world rankings, told Golazo: “The knee injury I have is quite serious and difficult to recover from.

“I don’t know if I’m afraid to push myself, but when I feel pain, it’s hard to play at my highest level.

“It’s very difficult to get back to where I was, especially after such a long break.

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“The thought of retiring crosses my mind very often. I’ve reached an age where I have injuries that are hard to recover from.

“My knee won’t heal completely – I was advised to undergo surgery, but it’s a complicated procedure, and I don’t think I will go through with it.”

Halep made her name in 2014 with runs to the last eight of three Grand Slams – including the final at Roland Garros – and was a popular player among stars and fans alike.

After her crowning moments in Paris and Wimbledon, though, she returned a positive test for the banned substance roxadustat at the 2022 US Open before it emerged that there were abnormalities in her biological passport.

The doping news stunned the world of tennis and impacted her reputation for many while Williams took a cheeky dig.

She was initially suspended then slapped with a shock four-year ban – until October 2026 – but this was reduced on appeal to the Court of Arbitration for Sport to nine months in March 2024, freeing Halep to make her tennis comeback.

The Bucharest ace has played just five matches since her return, winning her only one in the first round of the WTA 125 Hong Kong Open in October.

Now she is figuring out what the future holds – while reflecting positively on her superb tennis career.

Halep added: “We’ll see what happens next. Life moves forward, and I’ll take things as they come.

“Tennis is not everything in life. I have many desires and goals beyond the sport.

“Everything I have done has been extraordinary… I may not have even dreamed of becoming world No1 and winning two Grand Slam titles.

“I worked hard for it, and I feel fulfilled as a tennis player.

“Now, I want to do something else, not just tennis. The first part of my life was all about tennis, now I want to explore other things.”

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Galway boss Micheál Donoghue called for reinforcements in Nowlan Park yesterday—and three key figures stepped up to deliver a vital win over Kilkenny.

Declan McLoughlin rattled the net early in both halves and chipped in with a couple of superb points.

But it was commanding displays from Gavin Lee and Pádraic Mannion that truly laid the foundation for Galway’s much-needed victory.

The Tribesmen were reeling from a heavy defeat to Tipperary in Pearse Stadium last week, but they responded in emphatic fashion.

Speaking after the game, the Galway boss said: “We didn’t plan to make as many changes as we did,”

“But the message was clear—when you get your chance, you have to take it, and the lads that came in today did really well.”

McLoughlin certainly made the most of his opportunity.

He had already made an impact as a substitute against Tipp, and within five minutes yesterday, he had Kilkenny goalkeeper Aidan Tallis picking the ball out of his net.

However, Kilkenny had their own attacking ace in Martin Keoghan, who was in electric form, firing over seven points from play to add to the five he scored against Clare last week.

Cian Kenny also contributed three points, while Conor Whelan was lively but struggled against Kilkenny’s physical defence.

Where Galway truly dominated was in midfield and across the half-back line.

Gavin Lee initially dropped deep to nullify Eoin Cody, and between his defensive effort and some uncharacteristic errors from the Ballyhale sharpshooter, Lee won that battle decisively.

The Connacht man also charged forward to land three points, though even he was outshone by the outstanding Mannion.

Between them, Mannion, Lee, and midfielder Tom Monaghan contributed six first-half points, helping Galway to a 1-11 to 0-10 lead at the break—Kilkenny simply lacked that same scoring threat from deep.

Kilkenny boss Derek Lyng acknowledged his side’s struggles in attack but said it wasn’t just down to the forwards.

He said: “At times, we could have played the ball in quicker, and that can be frustrating for the forwards as well.

“It’s an overall thing—we need to be better.”

Galway’s lead stretched to eight points when McLoughlin pounced on a rebound to slot home his second goal, but Kilkenny were never going to roll over.

Billy Ryan and Shane Walsh made a big impact off the bench, with David Blanchfield and Pádraic Moylan also playing key roles as Kilkenny fought back.

Galway endured an 18-minute scoring drought, and when Cody finally converted one of his goal chances with a fierce drive from 15 metres, the scoreboard read 1-19 to 2-15—suddenly, a classic Kilkenny comeback was on the cards.

However, Galway held their nerve. Darren Morrissey burst forward to win two crucial frees, which Jason Flynn converted, and a soaring point from Whelan sealed the win.

Galway boss Donoghue added: “With youth, you get enthusiasm

“Fair play to them—when we needed lads to be brave, to work the ball, and to come off the shoulder, they did that.”

His call to arms had been answered.

KILKENNY 1-19              GALWAY 2-19 

KILKENNY: A Tallis; P Moylan (0-1), M Butler, H Lawlor; M Carey, D Blanchfield, Z Bay
Hammond; P McDonald (0-1), P Deegan; M Keoghan (0-7), C Kenny (0-3), L Connellan; L
Hogan (0-1), E Cody (1-6, 0-6f), G Dunne.
Subs: S Murphy for Bay Hammond (24), B Ryan for Hogan (half-time), B Drennan for
Connellan (46), H Shine for Deegan (52), E Lyng for Moylan (61)

GALWAY: D Fahy; D Morrissey, G Lee (0-3), S Morgan; TJ Brennan, F Burke, P Mannion (0-
2); T Monaghan (0-3), C Fahy (0-1); J Fleming (0-1), T Killeen (0-1), J Cooney (0-1); C
Cooney (0-1f), D McLoughlin (2-2), C Whelan (0-1).

Subs: D Burke for Brennan (52), J Flynn (0-3f) for J Cooney (54), K Cooney for C Cooney
(56), S Linnane for D Burke (61-65, blood), S Linnane for Fleming (66), A Burns for
McLaughlin (69)

Referee: Tomás Walsh (Waterford).

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