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DEAR DEIDRE: THERE is a young woman who catches the train every day from the station where I’m the guard – and I’m longing to ask her out.
She looks about 25 and is so pretty. I’m 23 and was immediately drawn to her.
I make a point of saying good morning as she passes through the station. She always gives me such a warm smile in return.
I’ve worked at the same station since I finished my apprenticeship.
The lads from the station tell me I should invite her for a drink but I’m worried that if she doesn’t like me, she’ll think I’m harassing her.
I could be reported to my manager for chatting to a passenger during work time.
I’m new to all this. I’ve never asked anyone out before. Can you help?
DEIDRE SAYS: Why not make small talk next time you see her. That way, she will know you are interested.
The fact she smiles is a good sign. Be ready for the fact that she may have a partner or may not want a relationship – but if you don’t ask her out, you’ll never know.
It couldn’t be seen as wasting time on the job, or harassment, simply to ask her to meet you for a coffee out of working hours.
You may be taking “customer relations” to the next level but what is wrong with that?
If there’s a spark when you chat, think about taking things further by arranging a date.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:
deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk
DEAR DEIDRE: A TEXT sent to my boyfriend by his ex said, “The sex was fantastic”.
Why won’t she leave us alone? She’s always been a pain.
Their relationship ended three years ago but she’s always messaging him and now I think they are having sex.
They have a son together. My boyfriend is 31 and I’m 28. His ex is 33.
I thought he’d never kept secrets from me but he left his phone on the kitchen table and something told me to look at his messages last weekend. His ex said she really missed the sex with him.
I scrolled through previous messages and it was obvious to me that they still sleep together when he visits his son, who is four.
I told him what I’d found and he denied it, saying he didn’t know what I was on about.
He won’t talk to me about her and doesn’t understand why I’m upset.
DEIDRE SAYS: His little boy is part of his life so you have to accept that but what you do not have to accept is his betrayal and gaslighting.
Tell him that, if the relationship is going to continue, ignoring this is not going to make the problem disappear.
Insist that from now on, he brings his child to your home instead and that he must not be with his ex alone. If he strays again, you need to move on.
My support pack called Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will give you additional advice.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at:
deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk
