A WOMAN has bravely shared how her dream of becoming a mother after losing 14 babies was brutally snatched away.
Kirby Hood, 36, said she was blindsided when the woman she trusted to be her surrogate mother kicked her out from the hospital after changing her mind at the last moment – and deciding to keep the newborn.
Kirby, a photographer from Queensland, Australia, had battled infertility for more than a decade, enduring loss after loss, before the ”experienced surrogate” offered her what she called ”the chance of a lifetime”.
”I trusted her, and she kept my baby after leading me on for nine months believing that the baby would be coming home with me,” the devastated 36-year-old told Daily Mail Australia.
”My baby was born in February and I’m only just coming up for air.
”I have everything in writing – the card she gave me offering to be my surrogate, the paperwork from the lawyers, and all the texts.”
Kirby attended doctors’ appointments regarding the pregnancy, and viewed ultrasounds – all with the encouragement of the surrogate – and covered all the medical costs throughout the process.
Excited for the new chapter ahead, she threw a baby shower, held a gender reveal party and documented her journey to motherhood on social media.
The birth mother even attended the gender reveal party and met all of Kirby’s close friends and family who ”wanted to touch her tummy and fuss around her”.
Kirby, a newborn photographer, first met the surrogate, who lived in her local area, in 2019.
She was told that this would be the surrogate’s “third and final child”.
In September 2021, the woman rebooked for some family photos, and in 2022 Kirby was booked again as the woman was entering her first surrogacy journey, and Kirby was hired as her photographer to capture the special moment.
The Gold Coast photographer said that having witnessed the woman faithfully fulfil her surrogate role for someone else, she trusted her to do the same again.
Meanwhile, Kirby continued with her own quest to become a mother and underwent an embryo transfer.
Unfortunately, after meeting a family through an IVF group, she suffered a miscarriage in 2023.
Uber Eats order that changed everything
”During the early days of my loss I made an Uber Eats order and the surrogate’s sister was the Uber Eats driver.
”She said to her sister, ‘Hey it’s Kirby, your photographer friend – jump in the car and come for a run to drop this order off’.”
After opening the door, Kirby met the birth mum who had a package with chocolates, magazines, flowers and a card – and they hugged, as Kirby burst into tears.
The card said: “When the time comes, you know I’m good for it. Love to be your surrogate.”
The two kept in touch about a potential surrogacy, but Kirby eventually came to the conclusion that she did not want to risk more potential heartbreak.
However, a call out of the blue changed everything.
Whilst at work, the photographer received a Facetime call from the surrogate – who announced she was having a baby.
Confused, Kirby asked if the woman had transferred eggs without her knowing.
She explained she had accidentally fallen pregnant with her partner, but they do not want another kid.
”At first I was cautious – how does this work? How does this happen? I’m pretty sure you can’t just cook a baby for someone and just hand it over.
”Aren’t there laws? I only knew of the laws of surrogacy [not adoption].”
In a state of shock, Kirby handed the phone to her mum who was at the photography studio at the time.
”Mum said: ‘What does this mean?’, and the surrogate said: ‘It means Kirby is going to be a mama,’ and I just bawled.”
What is surrogacy?
Surrogacy is the name given for a type of pregnancy where a woman carries and gives birth to another person’s baby.
The surrogate mother is then expected to give up the baby at birth, so it can be raised by the couple who originally wanted the baby.
Surrogacy is often an option for those unable to have children themselves, or for same sex couples.
According to surrogacy charity Childlessness Overcome Through Surrogacy (COTS), there are two different types of surrogacy.
- Traditional surrogacy: When the surrogate uses her own egg fertilised with the intended father’s sperm.
- Gestational surrogacy: The surrogate carries the intended parent’s genetic child conceived through IVF, for which specialist doctors are needed.
How are surrogate babies conceived?
In traditional surrogacy procedures, the egg is artificially inseminated using a syringe.
Gestational surrogacy is carried out through IVF.
During this in vitro fertilisation process, the egg is removed from the woman’s ovaries and fertilised with sperm in a laboratory.
The embryo is then planted in the surrogate’s womb to grow and develop.
This procedure must be carried out by specialist doctors and the biological mother is required to still have working ovaries.
The birth mother showed Kirby the living children on Facebook that she still followed and the families that were successful from her donations.
However, given the situation had changed from a standard surrogacy to an agreement to hand over a baby that was both conceived and carried by the birthing mother, Kirby sought legal advice.
Here, she was told that if the parents didn’t want to keep the baby, the newborn had to go to foster care and would be assessed a fair order and placed with a registered family.
Kirby then contacted the woman to pass on that disappointing news – but she already had an alternative plan.
”She told me that was rubbish and that I can be on the birth certificate as a same-sex couple, and so with a lawyer we drew up parentage orders,” she said.
As part of that, you can legally name [the baby] before birth so it’s in the paperwork.
Kirby decided to name her daughter-to-be Xanthe and the pair agreed she was going to be at the birth.
Left all alone
Then came another shock.
Throughout the long process of trying to become a mum, Kirby’s husband had been by her side, but just when it appeared imminent, he suddenly moved out.
Up until then, he had been to the scans and even had the ultrasound photo made into a keyring he carried around.
But he walked out the weekend after Father’s Day.
”I have lost 14 babies and it was too much for him.
”He told me two IVF rounds before that he was done, but I didn’t want to listen, I just wanted one more chance to try.”
Heartbroken Kirby called the surrogate and her partner to tell them her husband had left, but they said they had no issues with her being a single mum and assured her everything remained on course.
Needing to generate enough money as a sole income earner to be able to support herself and a baby, Kirby threw herself into work.
Things felt off
Kirby Hood
However, after she missed one of the scans as a birth shoot took 10 hours and overlapped with the appointment, the birth mother sent her a text questioning Kirby’s priorities.
Although she was feeling ”there were red flags”, Kirby ”didn’t want to believe anything may be wrong”.
A few weeks prior to the birth, Kirby was asked to meet the couple in a nearby park, where they told her that they no longer wanted her at the birth, explaining it was for minor medical reasons.
It was at this point that she started to have serious doubts, wondering whether the couple had had a change of heart about handing the daughter over.
On the birth day, she received a message that told her the baby had arrived, and she drove to the hospital – although, totally unsure what to expect when she got there.
”Things felt off, and I knew it wasn’t happening,” she admitted.
Kirby asked for a social worker to be present, but was instead asked to leave.
As if she ”was a danger”, the hospital went into lockdown and Kirby left before bawling in her car.
Two days later, the birth mother called Kirby to notify her that Child Services were involved now and there’s nothing she could do about it.
Kirby spent long hours contacting authorities, trying to track the baby down so she could be considered as a legal parent.
But it wasn’t until weeks later that she found out the couple had not given the child up – and had instead made the decision to keep the little girl after all.
”Someone sent me a screenshot of the surrogate’s Facebook where she had announced the birth of her little girl.
”I wasn’t angry, just hurt. If they changed their minds, why didn’t they just tell me?
”Of course, I would have been upset, but I would have understood. I know how hard it is to lose a baby. I would have understood.”
Kirby has not heard from the couple since March, and they have refused her requests that they refund the thousands of dollars she had forked out on medical costs and baby equipment.
They said they they will her in court, Kirby told the publication.
”But I want people to know about it, about what happened and for legislation to be changed.
”I just don’t want anyone else to ever feel like this.”
, girls you stunning” 
