TAKING a sip of prosecco Theresa Mahon listens intently as her date chats about his love of football and music.
As with all first dates Ads, 30, has plenty of questions for Theresa too, including the inevitable ‘tell me a fun fact about yourself.’
Theresa, 45, takes a deep breath and prepares to share the secret that sends most men running for the hills.
“I told my new man he was my first date in 13 years,” she says.
“I then dropped a bigger bombshell.
“I had already planned our wedding including everything from the castle venue, the purple colour scheme and his suit.
“I’ve even spent £2k on the dress and tiara.”
Sitting in silence, Theresa waited for her date to make his excuses, but she was in for a surprise.
“Despite being 15 years younger than me, my toyboy admirer didn’t exit stage left,” she says.
“He looked a little shocked but took it all in his stride.
“He did splutter a bit when I also revealed I’d already bought my wedding lingerie, but I was more shocked than he was.
“I’d met a man who appreciates that I’m not crazy, I’m just well organised.”
Events supervisor Theresa, 45, lives in Dublin, Ireland lives with her three sons aged 24, 18 and 14 and admits she’s been planning her big day ever since she was a teenager.
“I don’t think it weird to have planned my wedding without a man,” she says.
“It is a big job, so being prepared and planning everything down to the wedding dance and reception menu is just plain sensible.”
Despite having planned her entire wedding day, until nine months ago Theresa was single — and had not dated for 13 years.
But seven years ago Theresa decided to take the plunge – not to accept a wedding proposal or a date – but to buy her dream wedding gown.
Theresa says: “I’ve been trying on wedding dresses since I was 19.
“For me, a day out shopping was never complete without visiting a bridal shop and trying on the latest dresses.
“Standing on the pedestal with a shop assistant helping me into the latest on trend wedding dress was an amazing high that was better than sex.”
In 2019 Theresa was out shopping and spotted her dream dress.
“It was a strapless dress with a crystal bodice and a huge skirt, like Cinderella.,” she says.
“When I put it on and twirled, I knew it was ‘the dress’… I loved the feel of fabric and how special it made me feel.
“I told the assistant I didn’t yet have a groom, she was shocked but I was not ashamed.”
Theresa paid £1,000 for her dream dress and another £120 on a veil. To complete the look, In January 2019 she ordered crystal-encrusted shoes from America for £250.
Since then, she’s bought wedding lingerie and a special wedding bag taking her total spend to £2000.
“I’ve been saving for my wedding for a year and used credit cards to pay for the dress, so I was £700 in debt but have now paid that off,” she says.
“Every time I open my wardrobe and see the white dress I’ll get married in, I get a flash of excitement,” she says.
“I’m convinced it won’t be long till I will be walking down the aisle.”
Growing up Thersa admits as a child she loved to dress up in big white bedsheets and pretend she was Cinderella.
At school, Theresa had boyfriends, then when she began work at her local Tesco aged 19 she fell in love for the first time.
She says: “I met Greg* and we fell for each other.
“We had been dating for a year when I was pregnant. I thought Greg would then propose — but instead he left me.”
I became ‘married to the plan’ not married to the man until I could find a fella who understood me
Theresa Mahon
Theresa brought up their son now 24, as a single mum, crushed that her dream of becoming a bride hadN’T been realised.
When she was 22, she then began dating Tom*, 38. The couple went on to have two boys, aged 18 and 14.
She says: “He knew I wanted a big wedding; I talked about it non-stop, but he didn’t want to rush into it.
“It caused arguments, and we ended up breaking up after six years in December 2010.”
Since then, Theresa admits she’s been trying to find a real man, mature enough to settle down.
She says: “I was so angry with my past two men for leaving me, I decided I wasn’t going to wait any more and I would just go ahead and plan my wedding.”
“I became ‘married to the plan’ not married to the man until I could find a fella who understood me and wasn’t scared of commitment.”
While Theresa’s approach might seem unusual she is not alone.
A Interflora survey found six in ten or 60% single women have already planned aspects of their wedding – including choosing the dress they will wear and the flowers they will carry on their big day.
The study found millions of women – who are still looking for Mr Right – have researched elements such as churches, flowers, reception venues, bridesmaid’s dresses and the car which will take them to the church.
The rise of social media has only encouraged the trend of single women being married to the plan.
According to Mashable and TheKnot.com, a whopping 70 percent of Pinterest users admitted to having pinned wedding-related content before they’re even engaged—or necessarily dating someone.
Wedding site Zola includes a section specifically for people not yet proposed to so they can start browsing and creating plans without being engaged.
Other sites like TheKnot.com have a special “Not engaged yet” forum.
Theresa says: “I know I am addicted to weddings, but I know other women secretly share my obsession.
“I have Pinterest boards but for me scrapbooks offer a real keepsake of my love of weddings and commitment to my big day.
“I started small, filling scrapbooks with fabric swatches, dress designs and sample menus. I upgraded to a spreadsheet to record lists and budgets.
“I couldn’t stop. I sometimes spend up to four hours a day doing various things for my wedding day.”
It isn’t just the dress that Theresa has settled on, but the venue too.
“I knew I needed to know my venue. I spent hours scouring the internet for venues that looked like Cinderella’s castle,” she says.
“That’s when I found Lough Eske Castle, near Donegal. I booked a tour in May 2016 and fell in love with it.
Wedding Guest Outfit Etiquette
If you're struggling to decided on a dress to see you through wedding season, here's a few rules on what not to wear so you don't get in trouble.
- Folklore says that wearing red at a wedding means you slept with the groom.
- Casual attire like jeans and flip flops should always be avoided.
- Any colour that could be picked up as white or cream – even if it’s not.
- Most would agree that your cleavage needs to be covered.
- Wearing white is a massive no-no if you’re not the bride.
“I have chosen the wedding package I want and even had meetings with the castle’s staff about my plans. I go there every few months.
“Then I started viewing glass carriages for transport and found a horse-drawn one I’m going to book.”
Theresa’s wedding colours are white-and-purple theme, and she has started shopping for bridesmaids’ dresses.
“I found one I loved, so I bought one and took it to a seamstress who is going to make more of them when I set a date,” she says.
“I’ve planned white tulips, and carnations with a single pink rose in the centre for the bouquets and have bought lots of purple ribbon to tie around the chairs.”
The mum of three also has a menu planned and says its top notch.
“It includes carrot and coriander soup to start, turkey and roasted veg for the main course and profiteroles for dessert,” she says.
Extreme planner Theres has picked out the first song -A Thousand Years, the lullaby by Christina Perri which features in Twilight.
“And yes, I have planned the honeymoon – it will be in Disneyland,” admits the Cinderella obsessed bride.
“I will always listen to my grooms input. He will get a chance to change something as long as he makes a good argument for it.”
The budget so far is £25,000 but with the cost of living Theresa admits it will have to go up.
She also hopes her eventual groom will contribute towards the total.
Theresa has even got her wedding party on board.
I won’t tempt fate, but he may be a keeper
Theresa Mahon
In 2016 Theresea picked her three bridesmaids, all good friends, so they could help her plan.
“At first, they were shocked, thinking I’d found a secret fiance, but when I said I didn’t have one they just rolled their eyes but agreed,” Theresa says.
Theresa’s mum and dad were not convinced, however.
“My parents are less supportive,” she admits.
“They worry I’ll miss a potential husband because I’m too busy planning a wedding. They think I’ll scare men off.”
However, a year ago, Theresa’s ‘dating intuition’ paid off when Ads, 30 who she met at an events conference, asked her out.
“I’m 45 and he’s 15 years younger than me. He became a great friend, and we’d always have a laugh,” she says.
“Then in October last year he asked me out for a coffee at a local cafe.
“After 13 years of not dating it was terrifying. I thought I’d come off as a cougar.
“But we clicked and have been dating ever since. He’s even talking about taking me to meet his parents overseas.
“He didn’t laugh at my extreme wedding planning, his take is refreshing, and I won’t tempt fate, but he may be a keeper.”
