A SURVEY of 2,000 adults in relationships found the common miscommunications that can result in arguments.
“What?” is a more common phrase than “I love you” among couples over 55, according to research.
A poll of 2,000 adults in relationships found nearly half of all couples (46 per cent) have fallen out because they haven’t heard each other properly.
While 28 per cent get into an argument a few times a week at least, over mis-hearings.
And this leaves them feeling a range of emotions when not listened to – including frustrated (42 per cent), ignored (33 per cent), disconnected (19 per cent), and even unloved (11 per cent).
This phenomenon also leads to a range of misunderstandings between couples – from simply getting the wrong gist of a conversation (34 per cent) to actually offending their partner (17 per cent).
And these miscommunications weren’t one-offs – with a third being misunderstood by their significant other a few times a week or more.
Specsavers, which commissioned the research, also partnered with beloved celebrity couple, Hilary and Michael Whitehall to cheekily cause drama by appearing to argue in a series of public stunts that show how Michael’s hearing difficulties affect their daily lives.
After some speculation, the couple have revealed in a Public Service Announcement video that Michael’s undetected hearing loss was the source of many of these bickers.
Michael said: “I’ve always blamed our usual bickers on Hilary’s mumbling. After a little persuasion, I had a hearing check at Specsavers and it turns out, I have a little bit of hearing loss… Who knew?
“The most romantic thing you can do … is booking a hearing check. Safe to say, missing half the conversation isn’t ideal in a marriage.
“Now I’ve been fitted with hearing devices I’ve realised how much I was missing before – and the issues my hearing was causing.”
Hilary said: “For a long time I thought Michael was just ignoring me or not getting my jokes.
“Unsurprisingly, or at least not to me, Michael’s hearing check identified a little bit of hearing loss.
“But now we know that’s what’s going on and he’s got a hearing device, we’re bickering less and laughing more.”
The study also found couples ask each other to repeat themselves an average of four times a week – with a fifth doing so seven times a week or more.
And just under half (48 per cent) reported having to at least sometimes shout to be heard by their significant other.
Two in 10 went so far as to say they believe their partner doesn’t listen to them when having a serious conversation – with most ignored topics including family issues (23 per cent), their feelings (22 per cent), and even problems in their relationship (16 per cent).
As a result, 27 per cent admitted they have accused their better half of ‘selective hearing’.
With a third of those polled by OnePoll confronting their companions weekly, or more regularly, about not listening to them.
In extreme cases, this has even resulted in 21 per cent walking away and leaving the situation – with 14 per cent saying they even stopped talking to their other half.
When asked what might help ease these issues, respondents suggested being patient and understanding (35 per cent) and avoiding interrupting one another (27 per cent).
Having a hearing check was also cited by 24 per cent of couples as a potential fix.
In fact, at least one person in 14 per cent of couples have suggested the other book a hearing check.
And nine per cent of couples have seen at least one of them diagnosed with hearing loss – allowing them to get the help they need.
Relationship expert, Sarah Louise Ryan, added: “Miscommunication in relationships is one of the most common issues I hear about in my couples practice.
“For some, it’s that they’re having trouble expressing themselves, or that they don’t have the tools to resolve a difference of opinion, but in many cases, it’s a result of couples not hearing other correctly.
“This can cause marital tension, frustration, so if this sounds familiar in your relationship, don’t put off seeking expert help.”
Specsavers hearing expert, Sonam Sehemby, commented: “18 million adults in the UK have hearing loss and many don’t realise that they are missing parts of the conversation.
“Since it develops gradually, people often wait up to ten years before seeking help.
“But when hearing loss starts to affect relationships, it’s time to act – a hearing check can help couples reconnect and truly hear each other again.”
Miscommunication can leave people feeling unloved[/caption]
