RANGERS don’t get on a plane to Europe for nights like these.
They take the Star Trek teleporter to a footballing parallel universe.
Rangers produced a massive result in Istanbul against Fenerbahce[/caption]
Vaclav Cerny scored a double to add to Cyriel Dessers’ opener in the stunning win[/caption]
Do Rangers take a Star Trek trip to a parallel universe on a Thursday night?[/caption]
A place where their chests puff and their legs pump, where confidence rushes through their veins and they fear nothing and no one.
A place where those cave-ins to Queen’s Park and St Mirren and Motherwell didn’t happen, but where they’re a threat to every side who comes into their gravitational pull.
In this universe, their centre-backs spot danger and hurl themselves to stub it out.
In this universe, they swish from back to front like it’s not studs in their boots, but castors.
Most mind-bending of all, in this universe they have a striker called Cyriel Dessers who looks like he’s going to hit the net every time he gets a sniff of a chance.
Sure, they fact that he can’t stay parallel with the last defender often enough is pretty much the only reason why Barry Ferguson’s heroes didn’t light-speed it back home with this tie done and dusted.
But the very fact that they’ll stride out at Ibrox next Thursday night with a two-goal cushion over a Jose Mourinho side who hadn’t lost in 18 games since December is incredible enough.
Maybe that’s why they appointed a guy called Patrick Stewart as chief executive.
Because as Picard once said on the bridge of the Enterprise: “That is what it is to be human – to make yourself more than you are.”
And boy, didn’t every single Rangers player do that here.
For the umpeenth time through the reigns of Gio Van Bronckhorst, Michael Beale, Phillipe Clement and now caretaker Ferguson, they stepped onto the continental stage looking nothing – not a shred, a hint, a molecule – like the slow-witted, heavy-legged, soft-as-putty gang who fail so often in domestic competitions.
I mean, look at them against Motherwell on Saturday; two down for the third game on the spin, outplayed, out-fought and out-run in every position, booed to the rafter when they were finally put out of their misery.
Then, Ibrox had emptied long before the final whistle. Now, it was Saracoglu Stadium where the sound of plastic seats tipping up grew louder the longer it went.
Those normally-ferocious Turkish hordes had been cowed into silence and misery, long since drowned out by the 2,000-odd travelling punters wedged into one corner.
They saw the Rangers team they’d howled for on Saturday and during so many bread-and-butter fixtures, a team who stood up like warriors, who brimmed with desire, who drove themselves into the dirt for the cause.
You wondered if they’d wobble after chucking away the early lead Dessers had given them, but it was never going to happen, not with the attitude that soaked their shirts like sweat.
Instead, they regrouped and poured forward more and more, threatening again and again before finally – via two oxter-hair offside decisions on Dessers that must have been made by the Hubble Telescope, never mind VAR – putting together the lightning break that ended with the cramp-hampered Vaclav Cerny slot his second of the night.
No one can say the scoreline flattered them. Not even the most one-eyed Fenerbahce diehard could deny that they got off Welcome-to-Hell-of-a lucky.
Why can Rangers produce nights like these – and stutter so much at home, asks Bill?[/caption]
Barry Ferguson had a brush with the Special One – and came up trumps[/caption]
Cyriel Dessers had the ball in the net THREE times[/caption]
Having said which, surely no one who watches Rangers regularly can quite believe that, yet again, this team of theirs has performed so perversely in relation to the utter mediocrity, the constant incompetence, of how they stumble and bumble back home.
I mean, look at Dessers. See his ability to hold the ball up and bring mates into the game. Watch how clean his first touch is, how crisp his lay-offs are. Check his movement into space, his nose for a chance, the fleetness of his feet as he puts them away.
He was a fold of elbow skin away from a hat-trick that would have made it 5-1. How remarkable is that dogs in thd street can see how clumsy and clunky and careless he is week after week as points drain away and cups go begging?
Suppose if someone had the answer to that, they’d put it right and he’d be playing for Real Madrid. Just as, if some genius could work out how to translate this kind of thunderdous Thursday into their endless sloppy Saturdays…well, maybe they’d be the ones chasing a Treble.
Man bys
Here’s how the Rangers players rated on a memorable night in Istanbul
BY DAVID FRIEL
JACK BUTLAND: Indecision led to him taking out Robin Propper during a collision and he could’ve got a hand on equaliser. Superb save in injury-time could be key 7
RIDVAN YILMAZ: Back on home soil and played out of position as a right wing-back. Defended well and kept things sensible before being replaced by Dujon Sterling 7
JAMES TAVERNIER: Captain stepped inside from his usual right-back spot and used his experience to keep things calm. Defended well and showed common sense on the ball 8
JOHN SOUTTAR: Incredible block before break stopped a goal and he was a rock for Gers during the second half as Fenerbahce threw balls into box. Huge display. Booked 8
ROBIN PROPPER: Started on the left of the three central defenders and looked comfy until pole-axed by Butland after mix-up. Relief to see him able to walk off pitch 4
JEFTE: Caught out in an early Fenerbahce attack but switched on and played his part in a big team performance. Brazilian should have hit target on a first-half break 8
NICO RASKIN: Belgian midfielder’s approach set the tone for Gers. Produced an immense all-action display capped by a wonderful pass for Vaclav Cerny’s crucial third goal 9
CONNOR BARRON: Restored to the midfield to provide graft in the new-look system and did just that. Kept things simple on the ball and dovetailed well with Raskin 8
MOHAMED DIOMANDE: Showed bags of energy in a quick start and continued to be a lively presence in the middle. Was screaming for a pass from Cyriel Dessers on a wasted break 8
VACLAV CERNY: Aggressive pressing led to the Rangers opener as he relished a more central role and he showed great composure to claim a clinical double and secure the win 9
CYRIEL DESSERS: Sharp as a tack to grab his 22nd goal of the season before VAR robbed him of another two. Produced a brilliant assist for Cerny’s first in a top striking display 8
Subs: LEON BALOGUN (7) on after Propper’s head knock and was solid for Gers. IANIS HAGI (5) replaced the tiring Diomande for the last 15 minutes. DUJON STERLING (5) provided a physical presence on right in crucial finale. TOM LAWRENCE (3) on late. HAMZA IGAMANE (3) asked to be a nuisance.
As it is, the Europa League is it for this season.
But what an “it” they might still make it – because if they see this one through, who’s to say that after beating the likes of Dortmund, Betis, Braga, Nice and more these past few seasons they couldn’t do the same to Roma or Bilbao in the last eight?
That’s the aim for Ferguson and his players now; to divorce themselves from a nightmare of a Premiership campaign and keep hold of whatever it is that makes them do what they do on remarkable occasions like these.
As he admitted himself straight after time-up here, Ibrox remains a problem for them. They can look terrified in front of their own hugely-demanding fans, a fear that has seen them lose their last three home games on the bounce.
So who knows, maybe those fans will learn and they’ll help their players by staying off their backs and allowing them to breathe.
Though you get the feeling there’s more chance of Jose renaming himself The Shy One.
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