AN ex of mine had an unusual tactic for helping him last longer in the sack.
While at first I wasn’t sure, I have to hand it to him – there was method to his madness.
Georgie Culley tells how an ex lover used to play classical music to last longer in bed[/caption]
Did he use the technique of edging? Did he douse his member in men’s climax delay spray?
While all those are great ways to last longer in the sack, the answer is no – he actually listened to classical music to hit my, ahem, high notes.
In my new no holds barred series, I’ll be answering YOUR biggest bedroom conundrums, sharing my wild real-life experiences and practical tips to help you fulfil your wildest dreams between the sheets.
This week one reader opens up about how premature ejaculation (PE) is wrecking his sex life.
Got a sex dilemma of your own? Pop your question in the form above and I’ll answer it.
Q. I’m a 23 year old man and I’ve never lasted longer than a minute in bed. As I’m sporty and fit, women always expect me to have tons of stamina and in reality I’m a total flop.
I recently made the mistake of confiding in my mates and they now call me ‘One Minute Dan’.
I laugh it off in the pub but it’s actually destroying every aspect of my life. Is there anything I can do to last longer between the sheets? It’s ruined every relationship I’ve had.
Georgie says:
It’s no surprise this is causing you huge distress, in and out of the bedroom.
You’re fit, sporty, and women are expecting you to be a stallion between the sheets. The pressure can be immense.
That “One Minute Dan” nickname? Not helpful. Banter aside, it’s chipped away at your confidence, and that kind of stress can actually exacerbate the problem.
Don’t panic. PE is very common in younger men and often caused by psychological issues and performance anxiety.
It doesn’t define your worth or what you can offer in a relationship but I understand you want to last longer.
Here are some steps you can take to tackle the issue…
Rule out any medical issues
If you’re experiencing any problems in the bedroom then it’s always a good idea to consult a GP first and just rule out any underlying medical issues.
Sometimes erectile dysfunction can be caused by an underlying condition, or certain medication can wreak havoc down below, so be sure to speak to a GP first before you try alternative methods.
Focus on foreplay
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: good sex isn’t just about penetrative sex. We need to forget that outdated notion.
If you ask most women what makes them orgasm, it isn’t intercourse.
Most women need clitoral stimulation to climax, so spend about 15 minutes on foreplay, as most women need about 14 minutes of sexual stimulation to orgasm.
Sex toys aren’t cheating
Some men get a little offended when women bring sex toys into the bedroom – but it’s time to ditch the ridiculous idea that toys equal a “cheating orgasm”.
They don’t. What they do offer is a brilliant way to help women reach climax.
Think of them as a helping hand during foreplay or sex – not a replacement, but a teammate.
Ditch boozing
It’s no secret that too much booze can wreak havoc between the sheets – especially when it comes to lift off.
Men who are dependent on alcohol have a 60 to 70 per cent chance of suffering from erectile dysfunction, with premature ejaculation and a low libido being the most common.
To stay harder than a Sunday Times crossword, ditch drinking before getting busy in the bedroom.
Edging
This is a brilliant technique to help guys suffering from PE and help them last longer than a Bridgerton boxset.
During masturbation or sex, stop stimulation just before ejaculation. Wait until the urge to climax fades, then start again.
Repeat this three to four times before orgasm and it will help you last longer after time.
Without the pressure to climax quickly, edging can remove performance anxiety, creating a more relaxed and enjoyable experience in the bedroom.
Top tip: edging isn’t just for men — women can seriously benefit from it, too. By getting close to orgasm, then backing off before going all the way, you can build up even more intense pleasure.
Personally, if I’m after a longer, stronger climax, I’ll use edging during sex as well.
Use the squeezing technique
Georgie recommends speaking to your GP to rule out any underlying issues that could be causing premature ejaculation[/caption]
This technique is simple but seriously effective.
When close to climax, gently squeeze the base of the penis for a few seconds. This can delay ejaculation by reducing arousal.
It works better with a partner’s cooperation, so don’t be afraid to talk about what you’re going to do beforehand to stop any awkward moments later. After all, communication is the key to great sex.
Wear desensitising condoms
Not only are condoms great for practising safe sex but if you’re suffering from PE they’re a great way to reduce sensation.
Opt for thicker ones and ones with numbing agents (benzocaine or lidocaine) to help you last longer.
Try Boots Ultra Endurance Condoms – a 12-pack costs £8.99.
Try a delay spray
These days there’s a sex aid for just about everything in the bedroom – and I’m all for using them.
One of my ex-lovers swore by delay spray and had zero shame about it.
Around 10 minutes before sex he’d get me to spray him down, and we actually made it part of our foreplay routine, usually after a sensual massage.
It became less of a performance tool and more of a turn-on for both of us.
Try Lovehoney’s Tauro Extra Strong Delay Spray for Men (£16.99).
Make a sex playlist
While music can’t directly stop PE, it can help distract from performance anxiety.
Listening to your favourite tunes can boost mood, reduce stress and anxiety, and potentially increase endurance.
One of my exes – who could last for hours between the sheets – used to swear by a bit of Beethoven.
He said it helped him last longer than one of his symphonies, and he didn’t just help me hit the high notes – he composed a masterpiece.
For more sex advice follow Georgie on Instagram @sunsexpert
Meet our sexpert
In her eight years at The Sun, there’s not much our Georgie hasn’t seen – or done – and she’s loved every outrageous minute.
“People often ask how I became a sexpert,” she says. “Well, I’ve been fascinated by sex and relationships for as long as I can remember.
“As a teen, I devoured women’s mags full of scandalous confessions and steamy tips – and I was obsessed with Sex and the City.
“Maybe I was manifesting my inner Carrie Bradshaw from day one.
“I’d always dreamed of working at The Sun – and when I finally landed the job, I found my niche fast: going to sex parties and oversharing about my frequently chaotic love life.
“Over the years, I’ve built real trust within the kink and swinging community and I’ve interviewed hundreds of people about their sex lives.
“Add to that my own, um, ‘field research,’ and let’s just say I know what makes good sex great.”
Georgie says being a sexpert is about having life experience, curiosity, a sense of humour – and plenty of adventures along the way.
“There’s not much that shocks me these days,” she continues. “Except maybe a man who doesn’t believe in foreplay.
“But nothing makes me happier than hearing a reader say my advice helped them feel more confident (and satisfied) in bed.
“Now I’ll be answering your burning sex questions – and dishing out practical advice to help get you back in the saddle.”
