IT’S easy to jump to grave conclusions when you’re suffering a dry spell in the bedroom with your man.
You might fear he’s bored of sex with you, lost interest in your relationship or maybe even seeing someone else.
Annabelle Knight is a top sex and relationship expert[/caption]
But before you freak out, top sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight says the reasons behind your partner’s low libido are usually less dramatic.
She told Fabulous: “If your husband has been avoiding bedroom action, don’t panic… just yet.
“It’s easy to assume the worst: he’s being unfaithful, he’s bored, or he’s just ‘not that into you’ anymore.
“But the truth is often far less dramatic and way more fixable.”
With a bit of love and understanding you can easily add the va-va-voom back into your sex life.
Annabelle said: “Sometimes, it just takes a little awareness, a smidge of effort, and a touch of understanding to sort these problems out.
“It’s always good to remember that a dry spell doesn’t have to mean disaster.”
Here, Annabelle shares eight reasons why your man might be trying to side-step sex – and the ways that you can fix it.
1. He’s exhausted
Between work stress, late-night Netflix binges, and doom-scrolling on his phone, his energy levels could be at rock bottom.
If he’s shattered, sex might be the last thing on his mind. Much like anything in life, if it’s important, you need to prioritise it.
That goes for everything from going to the gym to sex.
How to fix it: Encourage an earlier bedtime, cut down on screen time before bed, and make sure he’s actually relaxing when he gets home and not just zoning out.
2. He’s under pressure
It’s important to regularly check in with your man and see how they’re doing emotionally (Stock pic)[/caption]
Society can sometimes paint men as sex machines who always want it, but performance anxiety is real.
If he’s worried about lasting long enough, pleasing you, or even maintaining an erection, he might try to avoid sex altogether.
This is a completely normal reaction to feeling under pressure to perform.
How to fix it: Reassure him that intimacy isn’t just about performance or orgasm.
Focus on connection, not just the finish line. Moving away from fixating on the destination means you get to enjoy the journey.
3. He’s not feeling sexy
Body-confidence issues aren’t just for women. If he’s gained weight, lost muscle tone, or isn’t feeling as attractive as he once did, his libido could have taken a hit.
This is a completely natural stage to go through and isn’t something that anyone should be ashamed of.
Having an open dialogue with your partner and removing any unrealistic expectations that you’ve placed on yourself can help.
How to fix it: Compliments go a long way!
Let him know you still fancy him, and if he wants to get fitter, support him in a way that feels fun, not like a chore.
4. His hormones are out of balance
Testosterone naturally dips as men age.
This can have several knock on effects, such as lowering sex drive, diminishing body hair and decreasing muscle mass.
Other factors like stress, lack of sleep, and poor diet can also mess with his hormones.
How to fix it: Encourage a balanced diet, regular exercise, and enough sleep.
If the issue persists, then it’s a good idea to make an appointment to see your GP and talk it through with them.
5. His mental health has taken a hit
Depression, anxiety, and stress are major passion-killers. If he’s feeling low, sex might not even be on his radar.
How to fix it: Encourage open conversations about mental health.
If he’s struggling, therapy or speaking to a GP could be a game-changer.
6. He sees you as a roommate
There are easy ways to put the spark back into your sex life (Stock pic)[/caption]
If your relationship has fallen into a routine of work, chores, and sleep, he might see you more as a cohabiting best mate than a romantic partner.
This is one of the most common reasons why couples might struggle to maintain a happy and healthy sex life.
How to fix it: Bring back the spark!
Plan date nights, try new things in the bedroom, and make time for each other beyond just discussing bills.
Set time aside for romance, by prioritising your relationship you’ll soon get back on track.
7. He’s watching too much porn
A little alone time is normal but excessive porn use may have social and psychological implications.
This can desensitise you to normal sexual stimuli, which means too much porn might start to affect your real-life sex life.
How to fix it: If you suspect this is the issue, have an open, non-judgmental chat about it.
Mixing things up in the bedroom and reconnecting emotionally can help, as can trying to identify why your husband is leaning on porn as a form of escapism so heavily.
8. He’s built up resentment
Unspoken arguments, feeling unappreciated, or old grudges can quietly kill desire.
If he’s holding into resentment, sex might be the last thing on his mind.
This is why honest communication and finding a way to reach a satisfactory resolution is so important to a happy and healthy sex life.
How to fix it: Talk it out. A genuine heart-to-heart can do wonders for emotional and physical closeness.
If you’re struggling to manage this on your own, then getting help from a therapist or couples’ coach might be just the thing you need.
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